Puberty is a strange time in anyone’s life; everything seems to be changing about your body, your mood and even your friends. For boys, it can feel very weird when their feet get oddly large, or when they start squeaking!
While puberty is a challenging time, it is inevitable, but it doesn’t last very long. It starts when the hypothalamus begins to produce the hormone gonadotropin, which in turn increases the production of testosterone. This is the signal for the body to start changing to prepare for adulthood.
We’ve already done a detailed survival guide on puberty in girls, but adolescence is very different for boys. While girls usually start puberty around age 8, for boys, it starts later. Whatever age it starts, we’ve put together a helpful guide for you, so you can be well informed about everything related to puberty in boys.
Puberty in Boys – A Survival Guide for Parents
The Stages of Puberty in Boys
For most boys, puberty begins somewhere between the ages of 9 and 14, later than girls. As for girls, puberty in boys is also divided into different stages known as the Tanner stages. They are named after Briptish paediatrician James Tanner. There are a total of five Tanner stages.
Stage 1: The first stage is the prepubertal one, where there are no visible physical changes, but the adrenal glands have started growing. By the end of this stage, the brain sends signals to parts of the body, which manifest as physical changes.
Stage 2: By around age 10, physical changes start appearing, beginning with an increase in the size of the testicles and scrotum. Other changes include pubic hair, increasing height and body odor.
Stage 3: This is where physical changes become much more prominent, around age 13. The voice starts to crack, the body starts becoming more muscular and boys may experience their first involuntary erection or wet dream. Other changes continue, like increasing height and larger genital size.
Stage 4: By Stage 4, around age 14, boys look noticeably different, and they experience more physical changes like armpit hair, deepening of the voice, and acne. The genitals continue to grow and start appearing more like those of an adult man. This stage may also see a growth spurt of about 4″ per year.
Stage 5: In the final stage of puberty, boys reach the final phase of their physical development, with adult-like body hair and a permanently deep voice. Many boys reach their adult height by age 16-17, although some may grow into their early twenties.
Delayed Puberty in Boys
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, 95% of boys begin puberty by age 14. If the early signs of puberty don’t appear by this age, it is considered delayed puberty.
Causes of Delayed Puberty in Boys
There are two main reasons for delayed puberty in boys: constitutional delayed puberty and isolated gonadotropin deficiency.
Constitutional delayed puberty is the most common cause of delayed puberty in boys, and it simply means that development is slower than usual. Boys with this condition are healthy and usually go through puberty normally, albeit a little later. For instance, if the testicles are getting larger but the penis isn’t, it simply means that the other signs of puberty will appear in the next 12 months. Most cases of constitutional delayed puberty are inherited from one or both parents.
Isolated gonadotropin deficiency or IGD is when the body is physically unable to produce certain puberty hormones. This is a congenital condition and will last a lifetime. If a boy hasn’t started puberty by age 17, he likely has IGD.
Diagnosis and Treatment
For delayed puberty in boys, doctors generally prescribe the following tests:
Test for testosterone, LH, and FSH
X-ray of the hand and wrist to determine bone age
Chromosome studies
CT or MRI scans of the head to look for any brain injury
The test results will help the doctor diagnose the cause of the delayed puberty, which will determine the treatment protocol. For constitutional delayed puberty, patience is the best treatment, although some doctors may prescribe a short course of testosterone to “jump-start” puberty in boys. For IGD, testosterone is the prescribed treatment, with increased dosage over time and throughout life.
Physical Changes of Puberty in Boys
1. Increased Genital Size
This is usually the first sign of puberty in boys. As the pituitary hormones travel through the blood, the testicles start to get bigger. Soon after, the penis gets larger and wider. Besides increasing in size, the color of the skin also changes. The scrotum darkens, becomes covered with tiny bumps (hair follicles) and begins to hang lower. For many boys, one testicle may hang lower than the other.
2. Body Hair
Body hair is a physical development observed in both genders during puberty, but it is more pronounced in boys. A testosterone surge causes the appearance of the first few hairs around the penis, which gradually get darker and coarser over time, eventually spreading toward the thighs and belly. Around two years after pubic hair appears, hair begins to sprout on other parts of the body, like arms, legs, armpits and chest.
3. Acne and Body Odor
During puberty in boys, oil glands get stimulated, and their overactive nature ends up in a buildup of oil, dead skin and bacteria in the pores, all of which cause acne. Again, this is dependent on genetics, which is why some boys have severe acne while others don’t have it at all. Puberty makes the apocrine glands produce more sweat, which, when combined with overactive oil glands, becomes responsible for body odor, which can start as early as age 9.
4. Facial Hair
Facial hair appears later than body hair, usually in the final stages of puberty, around age 14. The growth of facial hair is largely determined by genetics, and while some boys may be able to grow a full beard by age 16, some may never grow much facial hair even in adulthood.
5. Deepening Voice
As boys go through puberty, the larynx or voice box, grows larger. This is accompanied by increasing skull size, which results in larger spaces, affecting the way the voice resonates. All these changes together cause a ‘squeaking’ or ‘cracking’ of the voice, which settles into a deep tone once the changes are complete. In some boys, the larger larynx may stick out at the front of the throat, and this is called the Adam’s apple.
6. Body Size Changes
While girls appear taller and larger initially, boys soon catch up, and eventually outsize most girls. The hands and feet are the first body parts to grow, followed by widening shoulders and a lengthening torso. Their overall body shape begins to change, and they start to look more muscular. By age 14-15, most boys go through a growth spurt where they suddenly gain 4″ in height. Some boys may experience larger breasts, or gynecomastia, at around age 11, but this usually resolves on its own in a few years.
7. Erections
As the body starts making more testosterone, it is natural for the penis to fill with blood, get larger and harden, which is what an erection looks like. Sometimes, the erection may result in an emission, and emissions that happen at night are called nocturnal emissions or ‘wet dreams’.
Emotional Changes of Puberty in Boys
1. Mood Swings
Puberty in boys is all about drastic changes in hormones, and this has a significant effect on their moods. Many boys experience waves of emotions, ranging from mild irritability to deep sadness to anger. They seem to want more privacy and to spend less time with friends instead of family. They also get more stressed due to academic pressures or relationship issues.
2. Relationship Issues
Adolescence is a time when children want to establish their individual identities, apart from their families. This can cause tension at home, as they resent any interference in their personal space. Many adolescent boys feel embarrassed to show physical affection towards parents and siblings. This directly contradicts their need for parental support and love, leading to mixed reactions to family members. The raging hormones during this stage may also cause them to get into more fights with friends.
3. Lack of Confidence
Teenage boys are very vulnerable when it comes to their appearance, especially since they tend to compare themselves with their peers. Many boys may feel self-conscious about their height and awkwardly growing bodies. Some boys may be worried about their penis size. They are also affected by not being as good at sports or other skills as much as they’d like.
4. Sexual Desire
The rapidly fluctuating hormones during puberty can introduce boys to sexual desire and excitement, and this may leave them with confused feelings, including fear and shame. They may realize that they are attracted to certain people and may be unaware of how to deal with such feelings.
Main Concerns in Adolescent Boys
1. Anxiety and Depression
Teenage boys often experience varying mood changes as their hormones fluctuate, but sometimes they may experience a prolonged sense of sadness and irritability. Academic stress, career confusion, romantic relationships, body image issues and changing friendships can all affect teens to a great extent.
Another reason is media influence, which often projects unrealistic expectations that can be very different from the lived reality of teens. Here are some of the signs of depression in adolescent boys:
Constant sadness or melancholy
Being uninterested in things they previously enjoyed
Feeling tired all the time
Sudden changes in appetite or sleep
If you notice any of these symptoms, it’s best to take action early and talk to a qualified mental health professional.
2. Negative Peer Pressure
The teen years are when young boys are exposed to several risky behaviors and are negatively influenced by peer pressure. It has been found that 1 in 10 adolescents across the world uses tobacco, and that more male adolescents are at risk of indulging in heavy episodic drinking. Impressionable kids may give in to pressure and try these dangerous substances, which can have lasting adverse effects on their lives.
3. Sudden Erections
While erections are a completely normal part of growing up, they can pop up at the most inconvenient times, leaving boys embarrassed and confused. Erections can happen any time, even while asleep. While there is no way to suddenly stop an involuntary erection, they do disappear with time as the body settles into its adult phase.
4. Screen Addiction
Screen addiction, or screen dependency disorder, is a fairly new phenomenon but it has become a major concern where adolescent boys are concerned. Studies find that 75% of teens have smartphones and half of them feel like they’re addicted to their phones. In the U.S alone, teens spend an average of five hours on social media every day. Many teen boys also spend several hours on video games, which can cause a condition called internet gaming disorder.
Excessive screen time affects sleep and focus in the short term, and can even cause brain damage in the long term. Studies show that screen addiction can shrink the tissue in the frontal lobe, striatum and insula, which affects basic cognitive function and leads to poor mental well-being. Too much times hunched in front of devices also leads to neck and back issues in young boys.
Talking about Puberty to Boys
1. Initiate the conversation early
In general, kids become more closed-off as they enter adolescence, and many parents say that their boys tend to be more so. That’s why it’s important to start the conversation about puberty quite early, and not when physical signs have started to appear. Introducing the topic early on makes it easier for kids to ask questions freely, without any embarrassment or confusion. Already having an ongoing conversation makes it less awkward for them to come to you later, when they have more questions.
2. Be honest and open
Trust is extremely important in a parent-child relationship, and all the more so when your son is entering the teen years. Be honest and do not make up answers to save yourself from any awkwardness. Use the right terms for everything, so that they are well-informed and don’t think of any topic as too ‘taboo’ to discuss with you. This is particularly important in an age when misinformation is spreading like wildfire, especially through the internet and social media.
3. Offer reassurance
Teenage boys have to deal with a lot – changing bodies, peer pressure, career concerns, romantic drama and more. What they need in such a time is a safe space, and the reassurance that everything will be fine. Many boys have concerns about the sizes of their body parts or their overall physique, while some may worry about being attractive to potential romantic partners. Help them understand that they’re still growing and that everything will reach the right size soon enough. If it helps, you can pay a visit to your doctor, who can explain things better to your teen.
4. Avoid shame
With things changing rapidly and teens feeling confused about it all the time, it’s important for parents to avoid any kind of shaming or judgment. Puberty in boys is a hard time, and unnecessary judgment can not only make things worse; it may also scar kids for life.
Avoid interrogating your child with an avalanche of questions – simple, two-way conversations are more likely to be productive with moody teens. Never minimize their feelings, no matter how silly they may seem. Always validate their emotions, and be supportive.
5. Talk about risky behaviours
When talking about puberty in boys, an important subject is risky behaviors like substance abuse, smoking, rash driving and unprotected sex. Substance abuse is more common among adolescent boys than girls, so kids need to be educated on the subject early. Peer pressure is one of the main reasons kids experiment with such things, so it’s important to identify ways to resist negative peer pressure, while also learning about the long-term negative effects of such risky behaviors.
6. Set boundaries and consequences
Teenagers aren’t kids, but they’re not adults yet. They’re in that uncomfortable, in-between stage where they can’t be ordered about, nor can they be left alone entirely. Instead, it works better to have open conversations about rules and boundaries in your household. Add on some age-appropriate consequences for breaking these rules. When both of you agree on the fundamentals, it becomes a lot less stressful to enforce your household rules without arguing about them every single time.
Adolescent Boys and the ‘Manosphere’
Recently, the Manosphere has become a major source of concern for parents of teen boys and young men. The manosphere refers to a network of online communities and forums where ‘manfluencers‘ discuss ideas related to masculinity, relationships and how to ‘be a man’.
Unfortunately, the discussions are entirely toxic, promoting negative stereotypes about women and girls, and imposing a sense of victimhood on young boys. The manosphere ‘gurus’ tell young men that the reason they can’t succeed is that society is unfair, and women are responsible. They encourage boys to direct all their frustration and anger towards women, normalizing abuse and even violence.
The worst part is that many social media platforms actively push such content towards young male audiences, so that it’s likely to pop up on a teen boy’s feed even if he doesn’t specifically go looking for it. Simply searching for ways to gain muscle or ask a girl out can lead them to manosphere content.
Here are some signs your son may be watching too much toxic masculinity content:
He has started using words like ‘alpha’, ‘beta’, ‘sigma’, ‘high-value man’, or ‘red pill’
He uses objectifying language about girls and women
He considers female contributions or successes useless
He sees women as manipulative, unfair and controlling
He talks about relationships like they’re power games
If you notice these signs, don’t panic! You can use these as a starting point for a conversation about the manosphere.
The main thing to do here is to encourage critical thinking skills. Teach boys to ask basic questions whenever they come across such content. Why does he like that person? What message are they trying to send? If he says it’s based on science, has he linked any peer-reviewed scientific evidence?
They also need to know that many of the behaviors encouraged by the manosphere are actually crimes – like forcing yourself on someone for sex, touching someone without their consent, catcalling, making inappropriate remarks, or sharing someone’s private images.
Many boys turn to the manosphere for a sense of community, especially when they don’t have a safe space to talk at home. Make sure your child knows that you are always available for him. Encourage him to unfollow accounts that make him feel bad or angry. Instead, help them find positive male role models or other communities where he feels like he belongs.
Help your son understand that gender equality actually benefits everyone in society and creates healthier relationships. You can take help from this evidence-based guide developed by the American Psychological Association.
Caring for Adolescent Boys
Face and Body Care
If your son suffers from acne, encourage him to wash his face twice a day with a mild cleanser or soap and lukewarm water. If his acne is severe, you can consult a doctor who can prescribe an ointment. Avoid heavy moisturizers or sunscreens as these can worsen acne.
Once your son has enough facial hair to warrant a shave, he can consider his options. He can either grow it out, cut it to a specific shape, or shave it off entirely. How often he needs to shave will depend upon the rate of growth of his facial hair.
Teenage boys are notorious for being gross, but showers are non-negotiable now! If you live in a hot region, or if it’s summer or your son’s been playing sports, he may need to shower more than once a day. Remind him to use a deodorant or antiperspirant after every shower. Avoid synthetic materials and choose natural fabrics, especially for underwear.
Nutrition
A teenage boy’s appetite is no joke – many parents notice that a single teen can finish up a whole family’s dinner! However, what they eat to satisfy that insatiable appetite is what matters. Many studies find that adolescent boys are not eating enough fiber, which is what makes them ravenous so quickly.
Another point of consideration is protein. Many adolescent boys are concerned about building muscle, which means they may end up consuming far more protein than is required, especially in the form of protein supplements. An overuse of supplements can damage the kidneys, especially if they don’t consume enough fluids.
Teen boys also tend to choose sports drinks, especially if they are athletic. However, most sports drinks are extremely high in refined sugar, making them sources of empty calories.
Exercise
Boys of this age are quite enthusiastic about lifting weights and building muscle. However, it’s best to get a doctor’s green signal before starting, and maybe begin with something lighter, like resistance bands.
Always start a weightlifting journey under the guidance of a qualified trainer who can display proper form and advise young boys appropriately. He will need to start with lighter weights and take appropriate rest days.
Wellbeing
Young boys are often told not to show emotions, and that strong men never cry. Create a home environment where they feel safe enough to display their emotions and talk about how they’re feeling. They can also journal every day, which will help teens process their emotions during a turbulent time like adolescence.
Make sure they don’t spend too much time on screens, and encourage them to spend time on offline activities like reading, drawing, or sports. You can have rules like ‘no phones at dinner’, or ‘no devices one hour before bed’. Use child locks wherever possible; YouTube now has teen accounts for kids aged 13-17, where autoplay is automatically set to “off”.
A healthy way for teen boys to have a sense of community is by contributing to society. This can be by taking part-time jobs or volunteering at a local NGO or programs organized by your religious organization.
The most important thing you can do for young boys is to be a good role model. Kids learn by watching, so when the men in your home exhibit healthy behaviors and use positive language, they will automatically imbibe it. Remember, teens may seem like they’re wilfully opposing everything you say, but it’s only a phase. Before you know it, your little boy will have grown into a fine, young man, and you’ll be proud of how you raised him!
Leave a Reply