Parenting can bring out new sides of both parents. Here are some tips to overcome parenting differences and ensure the marriage stays strong and stable during this new journey.
Even the happiest couples will experience disagreements about each other’s parenting styles at some point in their marriage. It’s how you choose to handle these disagreements that will determine not only how happy your marriage is, but also how successful you are at parenting your little ones.
Children need parents who create structure and loving discipline in the household. They thrive on it.
Here are 7 parenting tips you can use when you and your spouse just can’t see eye to eye.
7 Tips to overcome Parenting Differences in Couples
1. Communicate Regularly
Regular communication helps couples resolve parenting issues before they snowball out of control.
Listening is an essential part of communicating with your spouse. Showing that you are willing to hear their thoughts and opinions can go a long way in bringing peace and unity to your relationship.
2. Build Trust in One Another
Trust is essential to an amazing relationship. Not only does it give couples peace of mind when it comes to fidelity and honesty, but it can also be a rock for partners who are raising children together. Research shows that couples who trust one another enjoy more fulfilling relationships.
You can build trust with your spouse by doing the following:
- Always follow through with your promises
- Be dependable
- Defend your spouse
- Let your words and actions match
- Build a reputation of honesty with your spouse
- Communicate calmly when you disagree
3. Establish a United Front
When raising children, couples need to act as a team. Research shows that couples who use the term “we” in everyday speech had more positive emotional behavior and lower stress levels than couples who use the term “I”. This is because they feel a sense of unity with their spouse.
This unity is also something your children should feel. They should know that they cannot go to their other parent expecting a different outcome or answer than the one they received from you.
4. Be Flexible
It is beneficial for couples to have each other’s backs, especially in front of their children.
For example, when preparing to speak to your child on a certain matter, telling your partner “I feel very strongly about this matter. I would really appreciate your support” can help your spouse to see how important the topic is to you and draw them onto your side.
5. Create a Shared Set of Rules
It isn’t always fun to do, but as parents, it is your job to set rules and consequences in your house. One of the biggest parenting tips to follow is to always include your partner in disciplinary conversations.
It can be extremely helpful for couples to talk about possible punishments and reactions to certain circumstances in advance to make sure you and your spouse are on the same page.
If your children see a crack in your resolve or get the sense that you and your spouse don’t agree on a matter, they may try and use it to turn you against one another to get their way.
By taking an online marriage course, you and your partner can learn more about different communication techniques and why working together as a team is essential to your parenting journey.
6. Talk about Consequences
Remember that discipline must not be harsh or cruel but should be loving and beneficial. According to the Paediatrics Child Health Journal, discipline must be balanced to be effective.
The study goes on to say “Effective and positive discipline is about teaching and guiding children, not just forcing them to obey.” The child must also have a healthy bond to their parents and believe their parents have their best interest at heart for the discipline to be beneficial.
Consequences should also “fit the crime”, as they say. For example, coming home two minutes late for their curfew is easily forgivable. Being grounded or having their cell phones taken from them for such a simple mistake would not be loving, just as giving your child a “slap on the wrist” for doing something like drinking underage would not be beneficial.
7. Take Care of Your Marriage
The Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction skyrockets when spouses consider one another best friends. Furthermore, children function better in school, with their mental health, and in social situations when their parents make their marriage a priority.
These studies highlight one of our biggest parenting tips – take care of your marriage. The closer you are to your spouse, the easier you will find it to parent alongside them.
Parenting is a rewarding, sometimes frustrating path. Remember to always communicate, trust each other, establish a united front in front of your kids, and be flexible. These parenting tips will ensure you will keep a strong relationship with your co-parent.
Sylvia Smith is a writer who likes to write about relationships and how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. She is currently associated with Marriage.com. She is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt its principles in their relationships. By taking purposeful and intentional action, Sylvia feels any relationship or marriage can be transformed and truly enjoyed.